oh the lies that linger
they sit inside my head
drain my sense of self
and replace with fear instead
they are the root of evil
not money as we'd thought
lies weave their tangled webs
and within them I am caught
oh how I long to chase them
from the shadows into light
where their parisitical destruction
cannot hide from truth's delight
but alas there is no refuge
from the depth of lies in wait
only patience and persistence
of truth to demonstrate...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 6, 2010
A Series of Analogies...
Well, it has been nearly a month since I last flipped open my brain and let the insanity run free and though I had heard the whiny "when can we go out and play" from all the crazy voices in my head I didn't realize it had been quite so long. The old adage "Time flies when you're having fun" appears to be ringing especially true these days as I flip the calendar on yet another month and try to remember where January and February went.
In recent years it has seemed as though months were passing as quickly as days used to and I considered that maybe the adage should be changed to "Time flies when you're miserable". What I resolve to think now, though, is that both are true but only one of these, the former, is something we complain about.
A lot has happened in the last month or so. Work is slowly returning to a normal and manageable pace, volleyball season is in full swing and my team is steadily climbing its way to the top and peaking just in time for the tournament at the end of this month, I fell in love with a great girl who shows me in new ways each day how much she loves me, and a lot of friendships have begun changing shape, beginning and ending as well. Ordinarily this kind of rapid fire change and shifting perspectives would overwhelm me and create in me and exhausted and emotional mess but these days I seem to be empowered to take each new thing in stride, put it in its place, and keep moving forward.
It has been a solid 3 months since I closed the book on one chapter and started writing a new book entirely. It was more than time for a theme change and the introduction of new characters coupled with the release or rewriting of old was long overdue as well. Now, as the plot thickens the central character is reflecting on all previous storylines and growing leaps and bounds as she breaks the chains of turmoils past and comes into her renewed sense of self and others. I am not a new woman just the same woman refreshed I'm enjoying the transposed juxtaposition.
For a long time I've felt as though I was tied to the bottom, requesting and requiring others to pull me along behind them to the top. Now though, I feel like I've taken my rightful position at the front of the line, leading the way in my life and simply inviting others to come along or allowing them to walk away if they choose. Finally I am genuinely okay with this being my journey and my journey alone. It is bright and beautiful and worth going on but I'm no longer in need of a guide nor will I beg for companions.
So, my bags are packed and I've got my walking shoes on...who is with me?
In recent years it has seemed as though months were passing as quickly as days used to and I considered that maybe the adage should be changed to "Time flies when you're miserable". What I resolve to think now, though, is that both are true but only one of these, the former, is something we complain about.
A lot has happened in the last month or so. Work is slowly returning to a normal and manageable pace, volleyball season is in full swing and my team is steadily climbing its way to the top and peaking just in time for the tournament at the end of this month, I fell in love with a great girl who shows me in new ways each day how much she loves me, and a lot of friendships have begun changing shape, beginning and ending as well. Ordinarily this kind of rapid fire change and shifting perspectives would overwhelm me and create in me and exhausted and emotional mess but these days I seem to be empowered to take each new thing in stride, put it in its place, and keep moving forward.
It has been a solid 3 months since I closed the book on one chapter and started writing a new book entirely. It was more than time for a theme change and the introduction of new characters coupled with the release or rewriting of old was long overdue as well. Now, as the plot thickens the central character is reflecting on all previous storylines and growing leaps and bounds as she breaks the chains of turmoils past and comes into her renewed sense of self and others. I am not a new woman just the same woman refreshed I'm enjoying the transposed juxtaposition.
For a long time I've felt as though I was tied to the bottom, requesting and requiring others to pull me along behind them to the top. Now though, I feel like I've taken my rightful position at the front of the line, leading the way in my life and simply inviting others to come along or allowing them to walk away if they choose. Finally I am genuinely okay with this being my journey and my journey alone. It is bright and beautiful and worth going on but I'm no longer in need of a guide nor will I beg for companions.
So, my bags are packed and I've got my walking shoes on...who is with me?
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